"Courageous: The Movie"

...last Friday night, we had our first family date. Matt's dad started taking a Bible study at church and gave Matt the movie, "Courageous" for us to watch. We all headed downstairs and laid out blankets and pillows to cuddle together. Of course, AR didn't watch the movie (we don't want her watching tv right now, down the road probably but for now we don't want to overstimulate her and we don't want to use it as a "babysitter") but she got lots of snuggles and love from her Mom and Dad.

The movie is about four policemen (and dads) experiencing their day to day lives. In a tragic twist of events, one of the men begins to evaluate how he's doing as a dad. He starts to study the Bible and decides to follow what he learns to lead him in being a father. His friends all jump on board and decide to do the same thing.

I thought it was a great movie although watching it one week postpardum was NOT a good idea because I was a blubbering mess. I even went so far to cry about not wanting AR to leave for school or have her get married! I would definitely recommend this for all new parents, well, really all parents in general but just be prepared to cry. Even Matt was on the floor kissing her forehead throughout the movie telling her to take her time growing up.

Here's a pic of my girl and I waiting for Daddy to get the movie started.

So far this is the only "parenting" book/movie we've read/watched that actually makes sense and isn't controversial! Oh and thanks for all the comments on the breastfeeding posts, I really appreciate all the tips. 

Breastfeeding...

...my sweet baby girl is one week old today! Excuse me, Mr. Time, could you please slow down? I wanted to do a post on breastfeeding to get some feedback and let you know how things are going.

First off, this is something I REALLY wanted to do but was so afraid it wouldn't work. Despite not being able to BF right away (it was about an hour and a half before I could), my girl latched on no problem! However, I didn't feel like she was getting anything. Saturday afternoon, the lacation consultant came to visit us and wouldn't you know she squired collostrum clear across the room. This was the positive reinforcement I needed!

Saturday night, AR had been fed, changed, burp and was still being fussy. Matt and I didn't want to give her a pacifier because the BFing class we took said you had better success at BFing if you didn't use one. The nurse told us she couldn't take her to the nursery if she was fussy so I asked what to do and she said a pacifier. I was a bit irritated at this because the class we took was through the same hospital so it was frustrating to hear one thing then another. We made it the whole time at the hospital without giving her one but finally broke down and gave her one when we got home. Good news, it soothes her but she's not "addicted" to it. We're also trying to keep her from sucking on her hands which I think is just a natural reaction for her.

On Tuesday, my milk came in and despite what you read/hear, I didn't feel the "let down." I only knew it came in because I saw some rolling down her chin after a feeding! She feeds about 2.5-3 hours during the day and about 3-4 hours throughout the night. She likes to stay awake after her morning feedings but is passed out after her afternoon ones. Luckily, she usually heads back to bed after her night feedings although her 9ish one, she usually wants to stay up some.

Leaking, here's where I need some help ladies. I leak like CRAZY! I can tell when it's time to feed because I leak. She's doing about 10 minutes on each side, sometimes longer and sometimes shorter. I'm pretty sure I'm not draining each side but she falls asleep about 8-10 minutes and this girl is one tough cookie to wake up. Once she falls asleep and she's stopped sucking, I usually try to burp her and then give her kisses calling her name to wake her up (my favorite part!) then we start on the other side. I don't "time" it by saying, "Well, 10 minutes are up, you're done!" I let her go until she's done and she doesn't seem like she's hungry so I'm assuming she's getting enough.

The leaking isn't a big deal at this time because I'm not going any where in public but it's more annoying than anything! In our BFing class, it also says to wait until 4 weeks to pump to ensure a better BFing relationship. The lacatation consultant told me I could pump at 2 weeks. So my question is since it seems like I still have milk when she's done feeding, should I starting pumping that extra and stockpiling it for when I go back to work? I don't want to force her to eat more than she wants. I'm going to see how it goes over the weekend then just call the lacation consultant on Tuesday and see what they suggest.

The pedi also said we needed to give her a Vitamin D supplement with no iron. Matt stopped and got it yesterday, it's just a dropper and she took it pretty well. Of course, I got a coupon in the mail for it today. Thank goodness because the little bottle was $10!?!

My nipples are sore. I know the BF class said if you're doing it right, it doesn't hurt. Every time she latches on, there's a small pinch but other than that it doesn't really hurt...just SORE. Lanolin is my BF right now! Really the hardest part is just keeping her awake!

This is a side story, semi-related: Today I had fed her around lunch time but she didn't feed as long before she fell asleep. About an hour later, she was a bit fussy and I was trying to figure out what it was. Right when I figured out that she was probably just hungry and I'd feed her again, the urge came over me: I had to poop! I have to admit one of the things I was most terrified of after giving birth was pooping. Luckily, I have the past 2 mornings but not today. Of course, it would all happen at the same time!

I read books before she was here and thought I had a good idea how to do things but now that she's here, I feel like I have NO idea what we're doing. I'm not complaining, she's a good, easy baby and I'm learning to just roll with it as we go. She's learning me and I'm learning her.  It's just hard to set her down when she's sleeping or try to wake her up when she's feeding because I just love to love on her ALL the time!!!

Autumn's Birth Story Part II...

...didn't mean to leave you all in suspense so long but finding time to sit down and type a blog post between taking care of a newborn, visitors, keeping up a house and trying to figure out how, where, when to get her birth certificate has made it a bit difficult. Now on to what you've all been waiting for...

At 9pm, our nurse Ashley came in and got me ready to push. First off, Ashley was AMAZING!!! All of the nurses were awesome, even the ones I didn't care for weren't bad, just not personable. Matt and I were both kind of shocked because contary to movies/tv, it wasn't a big crowd...it was Matt, Ashley and I and that was it! It was so calm and just a laid back atmosphere, I wasn't expecting the baby to come any time soon since it was just the 3 of us. Before I even started pushing, Ashley informed us that this baby was going to have a full head of hair-she could tell when she was checking.

Basically, when I was ready to push (the monitors couldn't pick up the contractions very well so we did it based off of when I felt like I was having one), Ashley would hold one leg up, Matt would hold the other leg up and I'd grab the rails. Then Ashley would count to 10 and I'd push as long as I could three times then I'd relax. It really didn't hurt at all, just lots and lots of pressure. Ashley told me that pushing uses the same muscles as when you poop so basically I just pretended that I was pooping and I got great results using that idea.

Since it was just the three of us, I would whisper things to Matt like that I felt I was going to poop and Matt assured me it was okay. Seriously, when they say you lose all modesty when delivering that's 100% right. I was pantless for 24+ hours, could have cared less if I pooped during delivery and I didn't/don't care any more about nursing in front of others (well some others but for the most part, I don't care). 

Ashley was great about telling us both what was going on and letting Matt get involved. I could see his face lighting up when the baby started to crown. He'd whisper to me what was going on. She asked if I wanted a mirror to watch. At the time, I said no because I was so READY for this baby to get out that I didn't want there to be time to get a mirror but in hindsight, I kind of wish they had. I pushed until I was tired and then Ashley went to call my doc, who was on her way already. Doc told her to have me keep "laboring down" and she was on her way. I have to say that I was so flippin' tired that the whole time I was pushing, my eyes were closed and I could have probably fallen asleep. That's part of the reason I didn't want the mirror and I enjoyed having Matt give me the play by play.

So we "labored down" aka kept pushing but not as strong as I had been. Around 10ish, Ashley said she was going to see how far away my doc was because this baby was ready to be delivered! Luckily, doc was in the parking garage and BARELY made it. Once she got there, Autumn was about ready to come out and she was still in her regular clothes! I just remember once Dr. M took over that I did quite a few half pushes and then out came baby! They put her on my chest and I said, "It's a baby!" which sounds silly because yes, I've known for the past 9 months that I was having a baby but seeing a baby come out of you and being placed on your chest was like wow!

Here's Autumn being put on my chest, still didn't know boy/girl at this point:

I wanted a few seconds and looked at Matt waiting for him to tell me boy/girl but he was just smiling and watching the nurses wipe her off. I finally said, "Well, are you going to tell me?" He got flustered and said, "I don't know! I couldn't see..." In his defense, she came out with her back to him and then they started wiping her down. The doctor laughed and asked if he was ready, he nodded and she spread her legs. A huge grin came over his face and he said, "It's a girl!" I leaned my head up and said, "Really!?!" He laughed and said, "Yes, really a girl!" After that grin came on his face, it didn't go away. Then he cut the umbilical cord (which I have a picture of and while it doesn't show anything, I didn't think it was blog appropriate).

So that part of my birth plan (him telling me the sex and cutting the cord), worked out but I wanted them to clean her on my chest and I wanted to nurse right away. When she came out, she wasn't crying right so they had to take her under the warmer and put something down her throat to get fluid out. I'm not 100% how all this went down because I was waiting for my placenta to be delivered but Matt was right there the whole time and the nurses did a great job involving him and keeping him informed on everything they were doing. Before long, my baby girl was crying like she should:

The nurse and doctor were talking about me but I wasn't paying attention, I was just watching Matt and Autumn. Not even 2 minutes after she was born, Matt looked over at me and said, "She's already holding my finger!" That moment was priceless and will forever be etched in my mind. This was the few I had for the next few moments. Two more nurses came in after delivery to help with the baby.

I finally turned to my doc to find out what was going on. She was stitching me up because I had a second degree tear, which I totally didn't feel, and we were still waiting on my placenta to be delivered. The doc and nurse rubbed and pushed on my belly for it to come out BUT it didn't. Luckily, my doctor was able to retrieve it all (and by retrieve I mean stick her arm in to her elbow about 4-5 times and take it out in pieces). Otherwise, I would have had to have a D&C to get it out. While she was doing this, the nurses were done with Autumn so Matt was holding her and standing beside my bed grinning ear to ear, rubbing my shoulder telling me I'd done a good job and I was okay. I was trying not to freak out and luckily, it all worked out. I got a bag of antibiotics and had to watch for bleeding. After I delivered, I was so caught up in watching everything that I didn't hit the epi button (which I think I only hit it 2-3 times before/during) so when she was stitching and receiving the placenta, I could definitely feel the pain.

I don't really remember much after that. At some point, I changed back into a t-shirt and my parents and Matt's mom came in to meet their granddaughter (my mom shrieked when she heard girl). I had to have a catheter put in to drain my bladder. My nurse really wanted me to pee on my own and I finally did.

Matt and I both agreed it was NOTHING what we expected but it was an AWESOME experience, something neither of us will ever forget. Despite everything my body went through, I felt really good afterwards and only took like 3-4 Motrins while in the hospital. On Saturday, Autumn had her hearing test and passed in one ear but not the other. They re-tested on Sunday and she passed with flying colors. They also mentioned that one nurse heard a heart murmur but no one else did including her peditrician that checked on her twice. All the nurses doted over her how beautiful she was which I'm sure they do for all the babies but it still makes you feel good :) On Sunday, my doctor came to check on me and we laughed because at EVERY visit, I would say he this or he that and she knew the whole time it was a girl. She has a great poker face!

Now that I'm home, I'm still feeling pretty good. Matt was coming down with allergies/sinuses while we were at the hospital so when we got home I'm pretty sure I started to get the same thing. Let me tell you that coughing is NOT fun. I'm super sore in the nether region so sitting down, getting up is no fun. I broke down and took some ibuprofen today because I was just feeling ick. And that my friends, is how our baby girl was welcomed into the world! Again, thank you all for your love, support and encouragement!

Ms. Autumn Rose in her coming home outfit and in her crib with one of the seven quilts she has (my mom made 4/7 and now all of them are in the closet since we can't put any in the crib)!



Autumn's Birth Story Part I...

...I'm laying in bed right now with my family :) Matt rubbing AR's back while she snuggles with him. I'm going to split her birth story into two parts because there's going to be lots of text and I don't want to bore you. Some of this may be irrelevant but I'm going to log in for my memory. First to break up the text, here's a pic of her sporting the home team-GO CARDS!

Okay, so Thursday at work, everyone was like maybe we'll see you tomorrow, maybe not. I was like, yeah I'll be here no worries and I left for my doctor's appointment expecting to be back on Friday. I get to my appointment and they hook me up to a non-stress test (NST) which was nice and relaxing. First off though, I forgot that on Wednesday night I pointed out to Matt how swollen my feet had gotten (it had gone down dramatically in the past couple weeks from when they first thought I was pre-preeclamptic) then on Thursday morning, I could barely fit them in my tennis shoes.

Back to the NST, I was relaxing with my feet up when the NP comes in and tells me that I'd just had a contraction. That made me feel good and I started thinking, hmm...maybe I will have this baby on my own before I have to get induced. Then a few minutes later, she comes back and asks if I'd been having any headaches which I hadn't. She went on to tell me that I'd gained 8 pounds since my last appointment one week ago and that I had protein in my urine, not a trace amount but a lot. She was going to go check with the doc to see if I should go to the hospital. Talk about a totally flip of emotions!

She comes back and says, yep head to the hospital right away. First she checked for dilation (none) and I was like, whoa! I head home and call Matt telling him to get home ASAP. I knew it'd be about an hour before he got home so I took my time when I got there finishing packing, loving on the dogs and sending last minute work emails. Matt got home and had the same idea so he watered some flowers, put away the mower until finally I was like, hey-let's get a move on it! I was told not to eat (in case I had to have a C-section once I got to the hospital) but Matt was starving so we stopped at McDonald's. Do you know how cruel that is to ride 40 minutes to the hospital smelling MickeyD's but not able to eat any?

We got to the hospital, got checked in and I changed into my swimsuit cover-up and some mesh shorts. They drew some blood to run tests and hooked me up to monitors to check the baby's heart beat and contractions. Then we waited...and waited...they couldn't start any meds or anything until my bloodwork came back. Finally it did and all looked okay except my uric acid level so good news, no C-section right away but it wasn't ruled out yet. At about 9pm, they inserted the first cytotec to thin my cervix. This HURT because my doc didn't want any gel used (apparently, it doesn't work as well). Contractions were about six minutes apart so I was feeling really good about this working.

At 11pm, I was able to eat so Matt went to the cafeteria and got me some soup and a parfait. I'd sat up right before then and suddenly three nurses showed up in my room freaking out, guess I'd moved the monitor when I sat up-oops. We were a little over anxious that first night thinking something would happen right away because we left the tv on all night and just dozed on and off.

At 1:30am on May 18, I got the second pill (you have to lay flat for 1 hour after each pill). Around 2:50am, I sat on the birthing ball because my hips were killing me but my nurse told me because of my swelling and issues I couldn't walk-lame! When I did this, Matt woke up with his second wind and started dancing around the room. Matt notes: he kept telling me he didn't get any sleep-LIE! I could hear him snoring-lol! Also, I'm glad we finally got text messaging but I think I spent about 50% of my time in the hospital spelling words for him.

At 5:45am, I got my 3rd cytotec and then at 6am, my doc comes in to see me. Basically, I was making no progress. She gave me my options which were keep taking the pills until 9pm that night then either C-Section or head home, come back a couple days later and try the whole process again. Needless to say, I was pretty disappointed after that talk. Doggie commercials were making me miss my furbabies, my mom had FB friend requested me and everyone kept asking for updates to which I had NONE. I got to eat breakfast and at 9:50am, I got my fourth cytotec and was laying there with tears rolling out of my eyes just from defeat. I took a little nap and felt a bit better afterwards because I had to tell myself that I couldn't change things, that this baby would get here one way or another, I'd just have to wait.

Around 11am, my nurse got me a machine to hook the monitors up to and said I could go on a small walk right close to our room. Thank goodness! We made two laps, all the nurses asking if I was okay to which we replied, yep, just taking a walk. I really wanted to walk to the nursery but it was too far away for the monitors to still work. When we got back to the room, my MIL was there. It was nice to see someone other than Matt (not in a bad way) so we visited for a bit then she left and my mom arrived.

Around 1:30pm, my doc stopped by again and said she'd be in touch and to eat some lunch. So I ordered lunch, pushing back my next cytotec pill. At 2:25pm, my nurse comes in to check me one more time because she was about to go help with a C-section so I was getting a different nurse. She was adjusting the monitors when I suddenly felt/heard a pop and I told her that. She asked if I was leaky and I wasn't.

I laid there worrying about it because I hadn't felt anything like it but the monitors showed everything was okay. At 2:36pm (Matt looked at the clock), I started to roll over and felt the GUSH. My eyes got big and I looked at Matt, "Is something coming out of my butt?" He walks over to check and he said yes (not my butt but it was rolling that direction since I was on my side). He called the nurse and we met the new nurse who was less than pleasant (eventually she was okay and was only there for a few minutes) who agreed my water broke and confirmed I was finally dilated to a 1!!! Now that I was dilated, we were able to start the pitocin-woohoo!!!

Matt got really excited and, again over anxious, because not much happened. We didn't call anyone yet because we knew it could still be awhile. Contractions got stronger and stronger and I got more and more uncomfortable. I was trying not to think about it but all I could think of was the pain is only going to get worst. I was on the birthing ball, Matt was helping me breathe but with each contraction tears would roll down my cheeks. I looked him in the eyes and said I wanted the epidural to which he asked me a million times if I was sure. I felt like I was letting him down, letting myself down, being a baby but in the end it was the right decision for me.

At 5:30, my new nurse and the epi doctor came in. They made Matt sit down across the room away from me in case he fainted. I did have to change into a gown for this and the rest of labor/delivery. Jo stood in front of me, I was holding her arms and the doc was behind doing her thing. She inserted it and my leg jumped. My nurse said, "Now is NOT a good time to be jumpy." Luckily, the doc jumped in and said, "That wasn't her fault." The meds set in and I definitely think I had more in my right leg (it took the longest to wear off). At 6pm, they inserted a catheter and checked for dilation and I was at 3-4!!!

Right when I was about to get my epi, my dad and stepsis showed up at the exact same time! After I got it, they came in and visited for a bit. My mom also arrived and came in to visit. I told her my butt cheeks were sore probably from sitting there. She left and I rolled on my side. I started feeling strong rectal pressure. Luckily, the week before, my sister and I chatted and she'd told me when she said she felt like she had to poop, that's when the nurse told her it was time to push. So as I was feeling this, I looked at Matt and told him that I thought this baby was coming sooner than later.

At 8pm, I told my nurse about the pressure who checked and sure enough, I was already at a 10!!!  She called my doc to inform her and get instructions what she wanted to do. Then she came back and said that we'd start pushing at 9pm!

Part II...let the pushing begin!!!

Timeline of Autumn Rose...

...I'm in the process of typing up the birth story, our hospital stay, meeting her new family and wanting to document EVERY moment (like hearing Matt sing "Silent Night" to her last night!) so in the mean time, I thought I'd give you a quick timeline and run down of how it all happened. Feel free to leave any questions that I can address in other posts.

Thursday, May 17
2:30PM 40 week check-up at the office; protein in urine and I'd gained 8 pounds in one week. Doc decides to go ahead and send me in to get induced
5:30PM Check in at hospital and took bloodwork. Most bloodwork looked good but my uric acid level was high (should be under 5, mine was 7)
9:00PM First cytotec pill inserted to help thin cervix; contractions were 6 minutes apart
10:15PM Fall Asleep
10:45PM Sit up, monitors move and nurses rush in the room-all was okay!
11:00 PM Finally ate dinner-broccoli cheddar soup and fruit parfait (also realized that the more full my bladder, the more contractions I'd have)

Friday, May 18
1:30AM 2nd cytotec and I fell straight to sleep; at this point, Matt kept saying he wasn't sleeping but I could hear him snoring!
2:50AM Sat on birthing ball because my hips were hurting from laying but was told I couldn't walk around
3:00AM Matt wakes up and starts dancing around the room (we were getting cabin fever at this point)
5:45AM Third cytotec
6:00AM OB comes to visit and tells me the different options/possibilities
8:10AM Bagel & cream cheese and a fruit cup for breakfast; also at this point, dog commercials were making me weepy and missing Em and Shad, my mom sent me a friend request on FB (for the 80th time) and I was being spell check for Matt for the 800th time as he was sending text updates
9:50AM Fourth cytotec and I started crying feeling defeated and thinking this wasn't going to ever happen!
10:00AM Nap
11:00AM Finally get to walk around the floor and MIL stopped by to visit
1:30PM OB comes by again and okayed me to eat lunch
2:25PM Nurse checking my belly monitors and I felt a pop
2:36PM My eyes get big and I tell Matt to look because I think my water broke-it did!!!
3:05PM Dilated to 1 and pitocin started
5:30PM Got epidural
6:00PM Dilated to 3-4 and 100% effaced
8:00PM Told nurse I felt rectal pressure, she checked and I was already at 10!
9:00PM Starting pushing
10:20PM Autumn arrived and my doc barely made it!
10:20PM Autumn got cleaned up while I got stitched up (2nd degree tear) and my doc had to retrieve my placenta because it wouldn't deliver naturally
10:22PM Matt looks at me grinning and says, "She's already holding my finger!"
Saturday, May 19
12:30PM Autumn met her grandparents (my mom & dad and Matt's mom)
Visitors throughout the day
11:00PM I looked at Matt and said, "Isn't it crazy, we've only had her for 24 hours? It feels like she's been around forever!"

Sunday, May 20
2:00PM Check out of hospital and head home with our baby girl!

Our first family photo

 Packed up and ready to head home!

Details to come in the following days!!!

Baby G Has Arrived!!!

...and SHE'S A GIRL!!! Can you believe it? She was born on Friday, May 18 after 7 hours of labor and 21 hours of inducing. She weighed in at 7 pounds and 15 ounces and 20 inches long. She has dark wavy hair and her momma's nose. She's amazing!!! For the most part, all went well but my birth plan really wasn't followed but the bottom line is that our baby girl is here and she's amazing!!! I'll do a few post on how it all went down after we get home and situated.

Here's my baby girl with her stork bite:

Look at that grin on Daddy's face and look at her checking out her dad (Matt can't stop grinning when she's around):

Autumn checking me out, this picture was taken just a few hours after delivery, I was pretty exhausted. She's got the cutest, most kissable cheeks!

Thank you for supporting us during this journey. Words can't express how blessed we are with all the family and friends that have showered us, prayed for us and watched this miracle happen. We'd appreciate continued prayers as our little girl grows up and Matt & I stumble through parenthood. I can't wait to get home and start this new, exciting chapter of our lives!!!

40+ Weeks...

...well, as you all read this, I'm already in the hospital! I'm writing this at 3:23pm on 5/17 waiting on Matt to get home so we can head to the hospital. I had the mindset that my induction would be scheduled for next week so today (Friday) would be my last day of work for 12 weeks, we'd enjoy the weekend (I already had in mind what all I wanted to do) and then it would be baby time!!! Well, as you all know, kids change everything!

I went in for my 2:30pm appointment, peed in a cup and they hooked me up to a non-stress test. Baby looks good, I was having a few BH and baby was moving. Then the NP came in and asked if I'd been having headaches. I told her no but that I had noticed the swelling had returned and I could barely fit my feet into my tennis shoes this morning. She informed me I'd gained 8 pounds!!! since last week and I had protein in my urine...not a trace amount but real protein. She went and checked with my doc who said go ahead and send her to the hospital to get induced tonight.

I think I took the quick change of events pretty well. She went on to check for dilation (none) and told me to head to the hospital. I asked if I had time to wait for my husband to get home and she was like yeah but don't dilly dally. I called Matt who thought I was kidding. I told him not to rush but don't take his time either. I came straight home and let the dogs out so they could get some fresh air then went to charge up the laptop, phone, camera, I-touch, etc...I made up the bed and put pillows on our guest bed, wrote a note to my mom asking her to do laundry and bring me some clothes when she got to the hospital. Then I sat down to send some last minute work emails I'd planned on doing tomorrow and then typed this up while waiting for Matt. I hope he gets home in time so that I can take a shower and he can shave my legs!!!

I can't even begin to explain how I'm feeling...excited, nervous, scared, excited!!! I'll do my best to keep you all posted but we've got to keep our family informed first! Say some prayers for Baby G, Matt and me because I know it's going to be (and probably already has) a LONG day.